When your heart speaks, take good notes. -Judith Campbell

I like this quote (see blog title). It's so true, and it's something I'm always trying to do more of. Whenever I'm unsure/lost/confused/sad/happy/seeking/whatever, I find myself scribbling in my journal late at night. Taking notes "of my heart," if you will. And whew, does it help. It's like therapy sometimes, seriously. And boy, after this weekend, did I need that therapy! :)
Sooo I went to Naranjo (again!) this past weekend, and it was a weekend of really good times, and really..not so good times. I digress...
Friday I showed up at the church, because Friday nights there is a time of prayer, and that's where my host family was. Anyways, so I showed up, didn't notice at all that Andres was there until the very end, and he hardly talked to any of us, which was weird. Afterwards my host sister said to me, "Que Grinch estuvo andres hoy, verdad?" (what a grinch andres was tonight, yea?) Which I heartily agreed with, because he was. Haha. So then comes Saturday...
Saturday was a nice day, I relaxed a little, then helped move stuff from my host sister Kris' house back to her parents house, because a few days ago she and her husband decided to get divorced. When I was here a year ago they were separated, but then got back together, but now are definitely going to get divorced. And she's the same age as me. Yeah. Yikes. Sad stuff. Then Saturday evening we had a activity at the church for the young people (high schoolers & anyone not married who's under 40 basically) which was awesome. We played some games, one of which I won (think Simon Says). It was awesome. :) And Andres was there, and actually was like, almost totally normal with me. And I just thought in my head, WHEW, finally, we're getting to a normal stage where we can just be friends, great, everything's going to get better from here. (Save the next step of that story for sunday). So after church, we headed back to Kris' house to watch the CR vs. Mexico game, in which CR lost terribly (the national team isn't so great, and Mexico is pretty awesome) so that sucked, 0-3. But we had a great time yelling at the TV and eating dinner together. It actually made me feel like I was at home watching some OSU game, so that was nice. :) Fast forward to....Sunday.
Sunday: We show up at church, and I knew that Andres' girlfriend was going to be there with him, so I basically was mentally prepared to feel awkward. I had told him earlier in the week (after he told me she would be there) that it was going to be nice to finally meet her. Well, Sunday comes along....and nothing. Andres completely and totally ignored all of us (the group of friends who all usually hang out together). Yeah. And in this culture, you always greet everyone, right? Yea. It was like we didn't even exist. Needless to say, I was a) shocked and b) ticked. I mean, what is that about, right? Ugh. I was basically just kind of disgusted with the whole thing, because you know what, friends are friends. You don't just ignore people who are your friends because your significant other may get mad, or if whoever else you are with doesn't like them, right? If I've ever ignored any of you for that reason, I immediately ask forgiveness, because it feels like crap to be the person ignored, that's for sure!
So now what? That's the question I keep asking myself. Tonight's plan is to call Andres and get this all out in the open. But from where I stand: it's over. Which actually breaks my heart, a lot, more than I thought it would (yesterday I went from mad to crying myself to sleep, to mad again today). Ah. But really, I just can't stand people that act one way around some people, and totally different around them another day. I mean, what is that about? Ugh. So me, practically the queen of awkward relationships, will be hard at work tonight trying to keep from completely losing what I think could be a great friendship. But any more than that? I don't know anymore if that's a possibility I would even want.......

Just pray for a pure heart, to trust God's leading of my heart and words, and for boldness to speak the truth. Once again, thanks for reading as always. :) much love and peace to you all!